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Welfare Reform Act of 1996: Good or Bad?
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A Call For Rape Awareness
Rape. It is a strong word. It is an even stronger act. When one hears 'rape' one institutes into their head visions of a masked person, usually male, who is domineering, mean, vicious; and whom strikes at innocent women, usually a stranger. It is a sickening word to most. A word that does not roll off the tongue but rather is a cacophony that leaves a horrible taste in one's mouth. But what else is known about this word? This act? Many tend to believe that it is a rare event, usually caused by woman coerciveness. "The woman should not have been out at night" or "She should have known better than to wear that skirt". Of course, this "rare event" which only happens when one hears about it on the evening news, happens much more often than most can conceive. In truth, rape is a rare event-a rare event because the only rapes that are 'known' are the ones that are reported-and of course this is not true. Some statistics have shown that on average, a woman is raped every 3-4 minutes. Then why is this such a rare event? The reason is because of fear.
Why is there fear about rape? There are several reasons: a woman is afraid of being attacked again, there is shame in admittance to rape; most rapes occurr in domestic settings, usually by a husband, acquaintance or close friend, this causes women to become fearful for their lives, having to come home every night to a rapist. Yet, a very strong reason for fear of rape, is not in the females, but in the males. When most males hear rape, they tend to want to change the subject. Unless rape is in some sort of "joke". Why is this? Partially because very few men would ever believe they were rapists; and partially because it is "unsexy" to think of women in that context. Women are supposed to be gentle, weak, in-need-of rescue. Of course, if a woman has problems, it is because they deserved it. Most men believe women are protected, fragile, are not exposed to the "real" world of what men live in. Much like the 'Intended' in Conrad's Heart of Darkness, whom lived in her own domicile world, never understanding true "darkness" like 'men' have to put up with. So rape, in it's context, is something that men are not supposed to talk about because it is something that, if any man can help it, will be prevented. But of course, what is extremely ironic about all of this, is that men do not come to the realization that most of them rape every day. What many men consider normal sexual relations, are actually threatening, dominant, 'sexual' acts that constitute as rape. So what happens? Many men come to think that dominating in sex, having several partners at once, having 'gang-bangs', talking about women as 'hoes, bitches, sluts' is not rape or assault. It is 'normal'.
I am not attacking a man, what I am asking is that men realize that what is originally thought of as "normal" may actually be rape. As I have stated, most men do not wish to believe that rape happens; many believe that "no one deserves 'this'". This is true, no one does; and men are noble in their beliefs of thinking rape bad. But it is problematic for most men do not actually know what 'rape' is. This can change, if men become more open to discussing rape with eachother and with their partner. In finding out not only what rape is, but why most men rape, why is it considered 'normal'. Women are not domestic, innocent, creatures-as has been romanticized by history-but rather, women are strong, independent people, whom are in a culture that promotes 'rape' acts as normal. I know most men do not want to rape, most want to end rape. Because men want to "rescue" women (for sake of proving masculinity) and because men, when hearing the word, also taste and feel disgust. So please, learn to have open communication, learn to have empathy, come to grasps and realize that the word is not just, because, a blind eye never can see to help.
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Self-Control and Abstinence: Why This Is Impossible.
A common cry coming from most of those who support "abstinence" teaching in sex education classes is that of self-control. These "conservatives"-term that will be used to describe the "pro-abstinence" majority-have come to a common conclusion that sexual activity amongst teenagers and "adolescents" is simply a matter of self-control. Their basic argument, which states that "an adolescent can exert self-control in order to limit sexual activity" is full of loop-holes and is not valid for biological, mental, and social reasons. Any one person will agree that "adolscence",or the time from puberty to maturity, is a time of change that constitues from physical, mental, and hormonal growth. These changes in the body have a drastic effect upon most "adolescences" and effect their attitudes towards many things-especially their attitudes towards "self-control".
To first understand how the "self-control" argument does not work, one must understand some simple biology in teenagers. Most teens experience hormonal growth during "adolescence". This growth in turn brings forth a reaction of sexual stimulus to teenagers. In other words, sexual desire and activity tends to increase during these times. It usally does not slow down in males until they reach the age of at least 30-35. In women, sexual activity and desire can actually INCREASE after the age(s) of 35-40. Thus, these biological feelings can add to some degree of sexual desire amongst teens. But how does this explain "self-control" which would be considered a "cognitive" or mental "thing". Here is how in two ways: first, the "hormonal" activity that increases during "adolescence" comes from the mind. The pituitary gland which is located in the brain; releases more amounts of hormones (estrogen or testerone plus some others) than at other times periods. But this task is not left up to the pituitary gland by itself. Rather, other brain "departments" must in turn do some sort of activity, this activity, thus increases the use of the brain and adds stress to the brain. This stress in turn manipulates environmental/social pressures into more stress. Thus causing emotional tension amongst teens. This added emotional tension and sex drive, will increase teens to want to exert to sexual desires. Secondly, these added desires and stress can add to another fact. It has been proven that sex can relieve stress, also- sex allows a person to feel "loved" or may fill in other "emotional" voids that have been ill-contained. With these "emotional" voids, plus the added "emotional stress" from "adolescence" it seems that children will more rapidly flock towards any way to feel loved and to feel "stress" release. Conservatives will still cry "self-control" even hearing these facts, asking why these "adolescences" will not exert self control. This is like asking someone diagnosed with depression, or schizophrenia to exert self-control. It is impossible because of different CHEMICAL changes/imbalances in the brain. During "adolescence" there are changes/imbalances also, so rather than telling the youth to exert "self-control" the conservatives should just yell at god or nature for not exerting "self-control."
But alas, even after scientific evidence, "conservatives" will still cry "self-control". Well, biological effects that effect mental "control/processes" could not be the only problem. Also, this issues is usually evaded by most "conservatives" in pains so thay they could rather explain social influences amongst "adolescences". But yet, social influences, like biological effects, can still be proven detrimental to the conundrum which has become the "abstinence" argument. Sure, society does effect many "adolescences" in extreme ways because of the attached biological effects. This fact will have "conservatives" jumping, bringing forth their argument that by distributing condoms or talking of safe sex, will influence "adolescences" into believing that "society" says it is ok to have "causal sex". This could be taken as true, but there is also another argument. There are biological effects in the "adolescence"-also known as hormones-which increase a teen's sexual drive. These urges, when the opportunity is present, can drive a student to sex. Because of the SOCIAL FACTORS or SOCIAL INFLUENCES exerted on a teen,who,is also getting signals from nature saying "fill these sexual desires", teens will most definitely give into these "social influences". You can now cry "self-control", but why not cry "self-control" to those "adolescences" who see condom distribution? Why not tell those "adolescences" that condoms are there for their protection and WILL be there for their protection, but to use self-control? The reason: Conservatives know their "self-control" argument is completely asinine and inane. But that will not stop them from curmudgeonly speaking their "ideas" about "self-control".
What should be done then? What should happen is that condoms should be available to all "adolescents" and "adolescences" should be educated on contraceptive awareness and on how to obtain contraceptives. The "self-control" statement is making a mockery of the "abstinence" argument and an even greater mockery of the sexual education programs at schools. With contraceptive education and availability, "adolescences: will learn that society is influencing them to think positively and safely. This positive thinking will most assuredly bring forth positive results that will parallel in a positive way with the biological changes in "adolescences".
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